Bullying is when someone repeatedly and deliberately does something to hurt someone.

Bullying can occur in a number of ways, including; verbal or physical harm/threats, text message/ email, or through social behaviour like always telling lies or rumours about someone or never including them in group activities.

Bullying also occurs over the internet, and is known as Cyberbullying. Individuals may use social media to pick on someone, threaten, intimidate or embarrass them, and this causes a great deal of distress to the victim.

When have you or someone you know experienced bullying?

Evidence shows that people engage in bullying for the following reasons;

• Want people to like them
• To feel better about themselves
• Feel anger or jealousy
• Have been bullied themselves
• Not know that what they are doing is hurtful

Emerging research suggests that people who engage in bullying may have low self-esteem, depression, and other behavioural problems from early childhood. People who engage in bullying are more likely to suffer from mental health problems later in life too.

Did you ever consider that “bullies” are can be victims too?

People who witness bullying can help solve the problem. Often, individuals make decisions to continue bullying based on the reactions they get from others. Bystanders can put a stop to bullying by doing the following;

• telling the individual to stop the behaviour;
• making it clear that they do not approve or think the bullying is funny;
• or simply offer support to the person being bullied by asking if they are ok or how you can help,

This can be a simple and powerful way to help stop the bullying occurring in the future.

How can you be a positive bystander?

Bullying can have truly devastating effects. People who are bullied can feel depressed, lonely, anxious and fearful. This can cause further problems with learning, in social settings or at home. In some cases, bullying can result in self-harm or suicidal ideation because the person may feel alone, ashamed or stressed.

Have you experienced the effects of bullying before or witnessed somebody else? If so, how did you cope with it?

A recent survey by ReachOut Australia demonstrated that online bullying doubled in 14-16 years in the last 12 months. This can be attributed to the increasing number of platforms that young people use online, whether it is Facebook or Instagram, or even using the chat features of popular online games like Fortnite. It has also been reported that young people who experience cyberbullying are at a greater risk than those who don’t for both self-harm and suicidal behaviours. Because of this it is very important that we all take a stand against cyberbullying to help prevent it.

Do you think there are enough safety features on social media platforms to protect young people from bullying? What more can be done in this area?

Everyone has a right to feel safe and to be treated fairly and respectfully, no matter their appearance, race, gender, religion, social status or how they choose to identify. People who engage in bullying are violating those rights. People who are bullied should feel confident in taking steps to ensure that they live a life that is free from mental, emotional and physical harassment.

Experiencing bullying can be very traumatic. The cycle of bullying often continues because the individual “baits” the victim into retaliating. Fortunately, there are some steps you can take to protect yourself if you are being bullied. These are listed below;

• keep your distance from the individual bullying you
• report bullying to the teacher or a trusted adult
• demonstrate assertiveness; don’t be afraid to use your voice to tell them what they are doing is not ok
• don’t bully the person back
• access services outside of school like Kids Helpline to help you overcome the effects of bullying

Trolling is a common form of cyberbullying, and involves continuous direct hurtful/distressing insults online. Trolling can be quite vicious, and often involve provocations or threatening comments. Individuals who engage in trolling are often referred to as “Internet Trolls”. Trolls feel empowered because they hide behind their computers and do not have to face the person they are bullying. Fortunately, nowadays on many online platforms you can report trolls and their comments to the platform’s admin who will often remove or disable the accounts and comments.

Have you ever experienced trolling? Did you report it?

Use the eSafety Guide to find reporting links for social media services, apps, games and websites.

If one of these social media services do not respond to your report within 48 hours, you can make a complaint to the eSafety Commissioner – they can help to get serious cyberbullying material removed, and provide advice, support and assistance.

On some occasions bullying and cyberbullying can include behaviour that is against the law. In fact, there are many forms of bullying which can have serious legal consequences. This is usually when an individual is physically violent, threatens violence, steals or damages belongings, stalks someone in a way that makes them feel like they are in danger, sharing inappropriate sexual images, defaming someone and encouraging someone to carry out a suicide. This is why reporting your concerns to a trusted adult, counsellor or parent is so important. And if you feel like you are in serious immediate danger, call a helpline or report the behaviour to the local police.

https://yla.org.au/nsw/topics/internet-phones-and-technology/cyber-bullying/#what-criminal-laws-apply visit for more information on the laws.

Often individuals prefer to target people who are on their own because it is easier for them to feel more powerful against someone who is isolated. Although it is not always easy to make friends, having someone to support you could be very helpful in these tough situations. Having a buddy will help take your mind off the bullying and also give you a sense of safety. A buddy can also help by being a proactive bystander and stop the bullying from happening in the future.

Who is in your buddy system and how have they supported you in the past?

Don’t be afraid to voice your concerns to a trusted person. Bottling up your feelings can result in a number of issues; including feeling irritable or avoiding situations/settings like school. Our advice is to ask for help; whether it’s a friend, family member, teacher or another trusted adult you feel comfortable talking to.

If you are being bullied or would like to talk to someone about anything that might be troubling you or that you have questions about, a great resource is the Kids Helpline. At Kids Helpline, you can call, email or even webchat with someone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for any reason.

Visit: www.kidshelpline.com.au to learn more, and you can even follow Kids Helpline on social media platforms.

Or if it is more urgent, call them immediately on 1800 55 1800

Have you noticed something different about someone? Maybe they are not acting the way you would usually expect them to. Or perhaps they are quieter than usual. Or you do not see them as much as you used to. If you notice that something has changed, ask the person ‘Are you Okay?”. This simple question can help someone who may be struggling with bullying or any other issues.

Ask somebody today, “Are you Okay?”

Knowledge is power. If you feel you are being targeted by someone, and think it may be bullying, do your research. This will allow you to have a better understanding about the process of bullying and why people chose to victimise others. In you research, you may also come across some helpful tips to overcome the effects of bullying.

What are your suggestions for overcoming bullying?

For more information please visit these websites below:

• https://www.esafety.gov.au/young-people/cyberbullying
• https://www.stompoutbullying.org/get-help/about-bullying-and-cyberbullying/why-do-kids-bully
• https://kidshelpline.com.au/teens/issues/bullying

Bullying, No Way is a great online resource for Australian schools to learn more about taking a stand against bullying. Bullying, No Way has also created a fun and informative app, called “Take a Stand Together”, for students aged 8-13, whereby students can make an avatar with a 'take a stand' message, send avatars to the Avatar wall or to friends, and watch interactive animations on bullying situations and choose different endings.

You can visit www.bullyingnoway.gov.au to learn more.

A great way to deal with things that are troubling you might be to use something that you are passionate about as an outlet. Whether it is creative writing, making music, doing sports or making an art project, it will not only help take your mind off of what is troubling you, but is also true creative expression that you can be proud of.

What are you passionate about? Discuss some of your interests and hobbies.

You might not know it, but some of the most successful and celebrated people in the world had to overcome bullying in their life. Rihanna, Elon Musk, Kate Middleton, Lady Gaga, Eminem, Michael Phelps and Chris Rock are just a few. And they all dealt with it in different ways and came out the other side as strong individuals. In 2015, Timberlake had a great quote while he was at the iHeart Music Awards about being bullied for being different: “Thankfully, my mother taught me that being different was a good thing, that being different meant you could actually make a difference.”

If you are being bullied or would like to talk to someone about anything that might be troubling you or that you have questions about, a great resource is Youth Beyond Blue. At Youth Beyond Blue, you can call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, or online chat with someone about your issues from 3pm to 12am every day.

Visit: www.youthbeyondblue.com to learn more, and you can even follow Youth Beyond Blue on social media platforms.

We have already discussed how having supportive friends can be a great bullying hack. As a supportive friend, some key things to remember are:

Look: Look out for signs that someone is struggling or that bullying is occurring; Listen: Before offering advice, listen to your friends’ experiences and how they may need help; Talk: Because asking for help can be difficult, start the conversation by simply asking “are you ok?” or “I notice you seem a little down, is there anything I can do?” Seek: Encourage your friend to seek help from a parent, teacher or counsellor, or even a doctor or health professional.

It might be the case that you try to talk to someone about bullying that has occurred to you or to someone you know, but you are not completely satisfied with their help or you feel uncomfortable talking about it to them. That is ok. The best thing to do is to try and speak to someone else about it, and see if they might make you feel more comfortable. Some people prefer to speak with someone who is their same gender, or closer to them in age, or has no relation to their family and friends. 

Did you know that even your GP can help with your bullying concerns. Next time you visit your doctor, why not also ask to have a quick chat about you are feeling. GP’s can give great advice about ways to take care of your mental health, and how to make changes in your life so you can take control of any problems you are having. You can also be as honest as you like because what you tell a doctor is completely confidential.

Some quick and easy tips to take control of cyberbullying are:

• Update your privacy settings and do not share any private information like your name, address, phone number or passwords.
• If you feel like messages are harassing you, do not respond. Simply delete the messages and log out.
• Block, delete and report anyone who is harassing you.
• Keep a record of anything that may be hurtful or harmful to you.
• Make a complaint to the eSafety Commissioner – they can help to get serious cyberbullying material removed, and provide advice, support and assistance.

If you would like to talk to someone about anything that might be seriously troubling you to the point that you need help, a great resource is Lifeline. At Lifeline, you can call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, text, or online chat with someone about your issues from 6pm to 12am everyday. They also have many online resources that you can use to get help.

Visit: www.lifeline.org.au to learn more.

It is hard cope when you are experiencing bullying. Being resilient is about bouncing back after a difficult experience. A positive attitude can help develop resilience and in turn this will help you overcome adversities such as bullying. By being confident, feeling good about yourself, and communicating with supportive friends, you will be in a much better position to cope with bullying and stand up for yourself in the future.

Be calm, be happy and have a Kind Mind this Christmas.